“Wisdom is nothing more than healed pain.”
— Robert Gary Lee
Reading time: 20 mins
Before any kind of deeper transformation can take place we have to address the past and any “blockages” to growth which may be holding us back. Those of us who have trauma or childhood adversity does not mean we haven’t been successful in life or made our mark in the world. We all cope in a multitude of different ways. But our personal life is often entirely separate to our business interests. We might be a corporate leviathan where success serves to hide our shadow selves and the hidden trauma that rises to the surface in relationships and family life. Or conversely, family and relationships take precedent and we have been unable to manifest success in our careers or vocations.
Whatever the variables, the only measure of value and thus our contribution to our community and purpose in life, is how well we have been able to transmute our hidden shadows; that which has been adapted to the demands of daily life and often purposely buried or “forgotten.” Yet, anyone who sincerely wishes to grow their conscience and be of use to the Universe as an emblem of its creative energy cannot leave the past unknown. It has a direct relationship to how well we cope with the uncertainty and unpredictability that hails from the future. By releasing our past demons we are able to fully inhabit the present which then allows us to the face second-by-second future that unfolds from that new presence with joy and acceptance.
Healing means the incremental release of new energy that was previously used to service a false self which existed through a normalised habit of shoring up cracks which kept appearing. That’s the nature of a self built from a survival mechanism. It’s not the real self thus has no authentic foundations. And as anyone who has done any refurbishment on a house without having the right knowledge – you can go through money like water down a drain until you are forced to take out a huge loan from people and situations who have that requisite money (energy). It’s much like being held hostage by a debt we could never repay without conscious attention to the roots of that pain. As each year goes by the interest on that debt increases until we will be forced to address it anyway. You become bankrupt and homeless.
Healing Developmental Trauma
One of the most effective methods of restoring a healthy mind-body connection away from trauma and childhood adversity is the NeuroAffective Relational Model ™ (NARM) a new form of somatically-sourced, multidisciplinary psychotherapy that synthesizes the latest peer-reviewed research and practice in the fields of mind and body healing. While placing importance on the clear understanding of past events it’s focus is on how best we can attune to the present moment and facilitate our capacity to connect to that which naturally heals. This brings us back from feedback loop of disregulation to a process of conscious self-regulation. The latter means listening to our mind and body so that we can have healthy stress instead of stress that harms us. (Again, healthy stress isn’t the issue, it’s our reaction to it. And when we are overloaded with stress that crystallizes into trauma revisited over years, then this is obviously something far different. Habitual reaction to pain can completely deform the mind/body connection leading to chronic disregulation.